Getting the Most out of One-on-Ones

When I started as an operations manager at my most recent workplace, I had more than 15 direct reports. That eventually rose to 25 before I shifted roles and was responsible for between five and ten people for the rest of my time there.

Managing 25 people was a challenge. Writing their annual performance appraisals took two weeks! However, one of my favorite parts of managing that large group was the opportunity it gave me to have lots of one-on-one meetings.

I committed to having those one-on-ones every other week, so I’d usually have 13 one week and 12 the next. They usually lasted between 15 and 30 minutes, although some ran longer. One colleague was routinely in my office for an hour or more, but we spent much of that time laughing. Those epic meetings often meant I’d have a longer day at the office, but it was worth it to have a bit of fun.

One-on-one meetings between a leader and employee are vital for building connections, providing information, managing performance, and guiding personal and professional development. I believe they are the most important meetings on a manager’s calendar, and I’ve tried to treat them that way.

Here are a few ideas to help you plan and execute successful one-on-ones:

• Make a schedule, but be flexible. One-on-ones work best when they’re held on a regular, predictable schedule. I usually plan for a half-hour every other week with most of my direct reports, but I will increase that to an hour weekly for employees who are also managers or who collaborate extensively with other departments. While I try to stick to the calendared dates and times, I also advocate for flexibility. If a conflicting meeting is scheduled that I must attend, I find a new time for the one-on-one. Likewise, if the employee needs to reschedule or miss a one-on-one occasionally, that’s fine. 
• Remember that it’s the employee’s meeting. While I usually have plenty to talk about during a one-on-one, it’s important to let the employee drive the discussion. I encourage them to come to the meeting prepared to ask questions or seek input on their projects, and I try to prioritize their items during our conversation. For longer sessions, I may ask the employee to make a quick agenda and send it to me at least a few hours before our meeting. That allows them to organize their thoughts, and it gives me time to prepare so we can have an efficient and effective chat.
• Start on time. These meetings should be a top priority for you. If you’re late getting to the meeting room or logging into the video call for your one-on-one, it sends the message that you think your time is more important than your direct report’s time. That’s not a message you want to send. If you’re going to be late due to an unforeseen circumstance, send them a quick message to let them know and ask if they’d prefer to reschedule. 
• Begin with some casual conversation. I prefer to start one-on-one meetings with lighter chit-chat, such as asking about the employee’s weekend or how their family is doing. You should know enough about them to show you’re interested in them as people without delving too deeply into personal details. This is a chance to get to know each other better and build connections that will make work more enjoyable for both of you. Don’t skimp on this time.
• Move through the topics at hand. After a few minutes of chatting, it’s time to get down to business. As mentioned previously, I usually let my colleagues move through the topics they want to discuss before I jump into my agenda items. I will sometimes reverse the order if I have one quick item to discuss, as they often appreciate moving past that so the rest of the time is theirs. 
• Pay attention. If you’re meeting in person, don’t sit at your desk where you can be distracted by computer notifications. If you’re on a video call, do NOT multitask during the meeting. Make sure you’re engaged and paying attention to what your employee is discussing. In addition to answering questions or helping them resolve problems, ask how they feel about work and touch base on their personal and professional development plans.
• Take notes. You’ll be surprised how frequently you refer to notes from previous one-on-ones to clarify assignments. Taking notes also helps me remember tasks I need to do to follow up on a discussion. Before COVID, I got in the habit of taking notes using pen and paper, and I kept doing so after most meetings moved to video. This allows me to focus on the most important items to note while avoiding using an electronic gadget that might distract me.
• End on time. Again, the people who work for you must know that you value their time. Do your best to be punctual. If you’re in the middle of an important discussion that requires a few extra minutes to resolve, ask if they are OK with extending the meeting. If not, schedule a time for a follow-up conversation or move that item to the top of the agenda for your next one-on-one.
• Follow up. If you set some specific goals or delegated tasks during the one-on-one, send a follow-up email outlining who is responsible for each outcome and a reminder of the deadline. As you complete tasks you agreed to do, send a quick message to let your employee know they are done. You can also tell them during their next one-on-one if it’s not urgent.

If managed correctly, one-on-ones will be some of your favorite and most productive meetings as a manager. As you build connections with your direct reports, you’ll figure out how to help them succeed. If you’re lucky, they’ll do the same for you.

What have you done to ensure your one-on-one meetings were effective and fun? What suggestions would you add to this list? Please let me know in the comments, and let’s talk about it.