The Quiet Power of Kindness

I was recently laid off after spending almost nine years at a company whose goals and mission I respect and support. It was a shock.

I was working in my dream job, completing meaningful tasks, and striving to help both my colleagues and our clients. I looked forward to work almost every day. (I don’t think anybody looks forward to work EVERY SINGLE DAY.) And I had a fantastic team. Saying goodbye to them was incredibly difficult.

On my last day with the company and the days that followed, I was touched to receive many messages of support from my former coworkers. I wasn’t surprised by this, because as I said, they are fantastic people. But hearing from them warmed my heart at a challenging time.

I told my wife that hearing all the nice things people said about me was almost like attending my own funeral.

However, as I reflected on their messages, I realized that they were also teaching—or perhaps, reinforcing—an important lesson.

For the most part, these people who spent years working with me didn’t mention the fact that I helped to create an entirely new product line for our division. They didn’t write about the efforts I made to build a new internal communications role. What I consider my “big accomplishments” at this job weren’t what they mentioned first—or, in some cases, at all.

What they did mention were little things. One person talked about times we spent chatting as we walked from a parking lot to the office together in the pre-COVID years. Another said they would miss the humor and personality of the messages I sent. Still another expressed appreciation for the way I fought for her to get a well-deserved promotion.

Their words focused on personal experiences we shared: the human side of years of working together. Several of their messages brought tears to my eyes, helping me realize once again the incredible power of small acts of kindness.

I have felt that same power from colleagues at that company and many others over the years. I noticed that quiet kindness when someone asked me sincerely how my family was doing, and really listened to my reply. I heard it when a colleague gently reminded me when I was working late (again) that we didn’t have any real emergencies in our business, and it was OK to go home and be with my family. I felt it when people I worked with in a previous job held a going-away party for me that included my two favorite things: doughnuts and bacon. 

I still find joy in the “work” part of whatever job I’m doing. I love tackling big projects and feeling a sense of accomplishment when they come to fruition. I thoroughly enjoy mentoring people and helping a team accomplish its goals.

However, one silver lining gleaming through the cloud of losing a job is the timely reminder that the most important impact I’m likely to have in my professional life will not be measured in revenue earned, deadlines met, or projects completed. My true impact—anyone’s true impact—lies in choosing kind words and gestures, providing sincere support, and showing genuine individual care for other people. 

Maya Angelou said, “At the end of the day, people won't remember what you said or did; they will remember how you made them feel.” In the days after I was laid off, good people made me feel appreciated, supported, and loved. I appreciate the reminder, and I’ll carry it forward wherever life takes me in the future.