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A Message to My Son as He Graduates

My son, Max, is about to graduate from high school. He’ll spend this summer working a part-time job to earn some money (or at least, he’d better!), and then he’ll be off to college in the fall. This is an open letter to him with advice for his time in school and the workplace, based on my experiences—and my hopes. Dear Max, Congratulations on your graduation! I’m so proud of you! I know you’ve thoroughly enjoyed your high school years and made the most of them. You worked hard in classes and earned good grades. You found a passion for acting and the theater. You’ve been friendly and kind to classmates and teachers. And you’ve started to discover who you are. As you prepare to take your first big steps into the adult world, I’ve got a few words of advice. I promise these suggestions are more important than my frequent, nagging reminders that you need to clean your room. I hope you’ll find them useful. First, always remember that little things matter . You have a gift for kindness—you ge
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Getting the Most out of One-on-Ones

When I started as an operations manager at my most recent workplace, I had more than 15 direct reports. That eventually rose to 25 before I shifted roles and was responsible for between five and ten people for the rest of my time there. Managing 25 people was a challenge. Writing their annual performance appraisals took two weeks! However, one of my favorite parts of managing that large group was the opportunity it gave me to have lots of one-on-one meetings. I committed to having those one-on-ones every other week, so I’d usually have 13 one week and 12 the next. They usually lasted between 15 and 30 minutes, although some ran longer. One colleague was routinely in my office for an hour or more, but we spent much of that time laughing. Those epic meetings often meant I’d have a longer day at the office, but it was worth it to have a bit of fun . One-on-one meetings between a leader and employee are vital for building connections, providing information, managing performance , and guidi
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Showing Up to Build Connections

Success as a manager is much more likely if you focus on building connections.  You must bring your team together so they feel connected to each other and the projects they’re doing. You should build ties with other managers and colleagues throughout the company so you can help them or ask for their assistance. You need to connect with your supervisor to ensure you’re on the same page with them and meeting (or, hopefully, exceeding) their expectations.  Of those connections, the links within your team may be the most important. I’m not basing this on a gut feeling. Years of poring over the results of employee engagement surveys have provided me with ample evidence that people want to feel connected to their colleagues and managers while at work. And when it comes to building those connections, they look to middle managers for help.  While there are many ways for middle managers to strengthen those ties , one that is often overlooked is the simple act of showing up, whether to training
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Practicing 'Practical Empathy' as a Leader

A manager I know had an employee who was facing a challenging situation in their family. They needed time to help another family member, but they felt guilty about falling behind on their work.  The manager encouraged the employee to take time off and not worry about their tasks, even suggesting gently that they might want to take a temporary leave. However, the employee chose to keep trying to do their job. They said they appreciated the change of pace it offered, even though they were distracted and not able to perform at their usual level.  The two of them limped through this situation for several months. The employee felt guilty about their work effort, but they were doing their best under the circumstances. Meanwhile, the manager felt like they were not handling everything precisely the way they should. It was difficult and stressful, and the manager felt unprepared to offer the right kind of assistance or to guide the employee to resources that could help. I’ve often thought abou
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Communicating with Angry Clients

Middle managers spend much of their time discussing work issues with their teams and their supervisors, but perhaps the most difficult communication tasks are those that involve people from outside the organization.  I learned during my years working for newspapers and other companies that talking to angry customers is never fun. It was usually the part of the job I dreaded the most. Fortunately, interactions with perturbed clients often weren’t as bad as I expected them to be, and I’ve developed a few tactics over the years to help me work through problems while still having my team members’ backs.  I don’t have formal training in customer service, but here are some ideas that have worked well for me when dealing with a client “escalation.” Respond quickly, but take time to prepare . It may seem that these two statements are contradictory, but they aren’t. When you receive a client’s complaint, you should try to get back to them as soon as possible. However, if you’re not ready to add
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Focusing on Personal Development

Managers are responsible for helping employees meet business-related targets, but good leaders also want the people who report to them to achieve personal development goals. Doing so builds stronger workers and better teams, and seeing your employees succeed is one of the joys of middle management. However, just as a manager needs to help employees create and follow through on career development plans, it’s also vital that managers do the same for themselves. Especially if you’re in middle management, your boss may not have the time to help you do this, so you need to take the initiative and make your development a priority. Here are a few ideas to help: Spend time thinking about your short- and long-term goals . What do you want to accomplish in the next quarter, the next year, and the next five years? What are other people in your position doing to advance in their careers? Think of someone who sets an example you would like to follow in your professional or personal life and conside
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Guiding Meetings and Making Decisions

I’m not a fan of meetings. To be fair, I don’t know many people who are. However, I recognize that they are a necessary part of most jobs. Because we’re likely to spend large chunks of our careers in meetings with our teams, our supervisors, fellow managers, or others, we should at least make sure those get-togethers are meaningful. I believe a good meeting usually results in effective decision-making, and if it’s a meeting I’m running, that’s what I’m hoping to achieve.  Here are a few steps I follow to keep people on track and moving toward a decision during a work meeting: Consider the specifics of the situation . Before the meeting begins, answer several questions. First, and perhaps most importantly, do you need to have a meeting, or could the work to be done be handled via email? (If it could, please consider that option!) Assuming you do need a meeting, have you clearly been put in charge of solving the problem or completing the project that will be discussed? Do the other peopl
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