Managing Relationships with Other Managers

Most managers keep their primary focus on their teams, which makes complete sense. They spend a significant chunk of their time each day trying to help their people hit work-related targets and achieve personal development goals.

This often means that they are unable to put as much effort into their relationships with peers on the same leadership level in their organization. However, I have found that taking time to build those ties can be vitally important to helping your team and the entire company succeed.

Here are a few ideas to help you as you seek to strengthen bonds with your fellow managers:

• Get to know them. This is similar to what you do with your team members. Take the time to communicate with other managers. In addition to talking to them about work, find out about their interests outside of the office. Show that you care about them as people, not just colleagues. You likely won’t become best friends with all your fellow managers, and that’s OK. You should at least be good acquaintances. This is key to building trust, and you’ll need that to work effectively with them.
• Help them when you can. As a middle manager, you often feel like you have requests and responsibilities coming at you from all directions. The last thing you have time for is helping another manager with their projects, right? Wrong. Make the time. Figure out how you or your team can help, then offer assistance before they need to ask. There’s always something you can do to make another manager’s burdens a bit lighter. When you do, everyone wins. The company gets a project done faster and better. Your fellow manager gets praise for finishing the project effectively. And you build a stronger, more trusting relationship with that manager.
• Accept help when it is offered. If you and your team are helping others at the company, they’ll likely want to repay the favor. Let them do so. Everything works better in an organization when people play to their strengths, and no team has all possible strengths represented among its members. You’re going to need help with projects at times. Don’t be afraid to ask your fellow managers for assistance. Since you’ve been helping them, they’ll usually be happy to reciprocate.
• Build bridges. In addition to creating ties with individual managers, it may help you and the organization if you strengthen the cohesion of the entire management team. For example, in one of my managerial roles, I organized a “managers’ lunch” every couple of months. This was a chance for several of us to get away from the office together to talk about both work and personal stuff. I believe it made us more unified and kept us on the same page as we approached challenging projects. It also gave us a chance to get to know each other better and grow more comfortable in our communication.
• Offer praise. One often challenging part of middle management is that you rarely receive praise. You may give frequent kudos and words of encouragement to your team members, but as you move up the corporate ladder, you tend to see less of that recognition yourself. That’s why taking a few minutes to send a fellow manager an email congratulating them on an accomplishment or thanking them for their help means a lot. Again, it builds a relationship of trust, which is key to getting things done and creating an effective working environment. As a bonus, it’s a kind thing to do!
• Have fun. You’re going to be stuck in many long meetings with your fellow managers. You’ll probably have weeks in which you spend more time with them than with members of your team. If you’re going to be in the trenches together, you might as well try to enjoy it. Having a good relationship with them will allow you to know when you can joke around and when you should stick to business. If you figure that out, it’s sure to make your work hours more pleasant.
• Tackle conflicts quickly and honestly. No matter how good your relationship is, you’ll likely have times when you disagree with your fellow managers. Don’t let those problems fester. If possible, schedule one-on-one time with the other manager to talk about your differences and seek common ground. Be honest and firm, but not overly aggressive or mean-spirited. If you’re not able to come to a compromise that works for both of you, take a deep breath and remember to pick your battles. You may occasionally have to acquiesce to the other manager’s point of view to maintain your relationship and keep a project moving forward. If you’ve built solid ties, however, they’ll remember that the next time you disagree and may be more willing to see your point of view. It’s all about knowing when to dig in your heels and when to let something go. If your relationships with other managers are solid, you’ll know better when to take each path.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my relationships with fellow managers over the years. Some of them have become close friends, and even those who didn’t were colleagues I      appreciate and respect. If you make a concerted effort to create positive relationships with your fellow managers, your investment of time will pay off with more productivity, trust, and even joy at work. 

How have you worked to build relationships with fellow managers? What was the result of your efforts? Please let me know in the comments, and let’s talk about it.